60/60

:D

I
DID
IT
!!

All the way to 60 days!
Just something else I noticed lately - Facebook is awfully negative - I'm gonna write a positive post :)
Im also working the next 6 days in a row, I'll take that challenge!

59/60

Well well.  Time for a legit post.  So in wrapping up this process I definitely think that there is a bit more I can do.  Re-read my posts for example.  I know there a lot that helped me in them, and I mean I wrote it so the thoughts are in my head, but there are times when you can use positive reminders and I think that this blog will continue to serve as a great tool for that.
I can honestly say I don't now what I was truly expecting from this project.  I know it was very ambitious and that I wasn't sure I'd even make it to half-way.  But I did.  And not only that I was actually seeing the change in myself I was trying for.
In talking about this the other day I was asked why I felt that this was something I needed to do.  My attitude wasn't necessarily viewed as poor , even positive perhaps, and I knew that too when I started.  I guess I knew that there was more that I could do.  Also, I figured that while others might not see it, its how I do that's important.  So changing my mindset vs saying the way I act is a key difference.  Not particularly how I handle things or what I say or do, but how I think about it.  Granted hat of course is connected with the rest and altogether it makes a great difference.

I know I have a day of writing ahead of me still, but I'm still not too sure what I want to do after that day.  Honestly keeping writing is again forcing me to think about things and process them - and that's great.  But writing just for the sake of writing (as I've done more than a couple times) isn't helping at all.  I guess a good goal (key word right there!) would be to write a few times a week, and make at least a couple of them legitimately count.  Even if its still reflecting on a quote that still opened my thoughts up a lot.  I suppose one thing to do would be to look at quotes I've already done and see how my thoughts have changed about them or at least how I am applying them to my life.

In any case I can't even begins to say how happy and proud I am of myself and this project.  I know theres still a lot more I can do to challenge myself and get my goals accomplished.  When I started this project I didn't even have goals written out.  It sure feels good :)

58/60

Tomorrow I will blog extra long.... kinda a "wrapping this up" type of post.  If I had any more to post tonight but I'm pretty blank.  :-\  Tomorrow will make up for it for reals.

57/60

Today..... I WORKED OUT.

I almost can't believe it myself!  Other than that I pretty much wasted my day off, but you gotta just do that once  and a while no? And 2AM is far to late to post for reals.  Regardless, talk about feeling good ;)  I got to talk a bit about this whole process to a close friend tonight as well.  Its simply reassuring and feels good too.  One day on and then another day off ;)  Not to bad!

56/60

Well today was full! Quite sleepy all day but work went smoothly and had dinner at home with the family and some out of town relatives.  All in all I would say that my mentality for this situation is incredibly improved over where I've started.  Tomorrow I will write considerably more, I need to figure out my motivation for this after a long days work still!

55/60

Ah the dynamics of groups.  Amazing isn't it how things can swing so drastically based off the individuals involved?  I know its a bit of a rhetorical question and being blind to its context it doesn't do much good.  But today was another good day.  A little time out in the sun, a little time reading, and an non-stressful evening at work.  I'd say all and all its good. I work again in the morning and it will be a busy day so I know it will carry over.  I hope in the meantime I can get some reading in :)  I know this again is a weak post by my standards, but again, illustrates the power of this positive mindset.

54/60

TODAY I looked for jobs.  Didn't find any BUT I took a big step in the right direction.  I suppose I now need to come up with a game plan/strategy for looking as just browsing doesn't seem to be doing the trick.
Otherwise today was a wonderful day off.  Relaxed, tanned, shaved, shopped around, and had a great dinner.   I will carry these good feelings over to tomorrow as the next two days of work are going to be a challenge, but one that I can handle.
In other news of my goals, I might start working out occasionally at my friend's condo gym, it might be just the kickstart I need to get the ball rolling so to speak.  Also, I found a potential apartment.  That being said I still do think that I'm going to keep holding my cards on that one until I get a little direction on the career search.

53/60

Work seems to always be surprising.  My goal tomorrow: jump back into job hunting.

Speaking of goals, I never posted my updated goals for a little while back, well here they are!

GOALS:

Apartment

March (On track to have funds by end of feb.)

April latest

Work Out

April (hopefully after apartment, still in process)

May

Job

Jan 2013

July Apply (need to get cracking)

Positive Mindset

(great progress so far)

Friends

(ah well…)

Relationship?

(still need to figure that one out)

 ----------------------------------------

So I'd say as of now, I'm not so sure about an apartment just because I want a get a better idea of what sort of job situation I'd be looking into.  Getting a new place will lock me into a location for a bit so if at least again I know it'll take a while of looking moving can still happen, but if I'm finding things I could def wait...

52/60

Unlike most days, I was able to talk out my issues of today with a friend.  Which definitely helped and also helped me not have to worry about writing too much about it tonight.  Mainly I just wanted to say while the last 15 minutes of work pretty much got really under my skin out of nowhere I had no clue how to turn the day around.  I'd been proud how I had the past few days in surprising ways that just involved me thinking of the situation differently (and it really worked) but today I couldn't figure that out.  So dragging my feet I went to my rehearsal tonight (my friend wasn't going to come, plus no sleep and a bad day didn't exactly make me feel like going) and, like my reasons before, I don't know why or how, but rehearsal turned my mood around.  I don't know if it was the people, or the music, maybe switching up instruments or what, but something resonated within me and pushed out the yucky-ness I had came in with.  I'm really glad for it.  I needed it badly and never would have expected it.  Maybe not expecting it made it seem that much better too. Now I'm off to finish my book (!) before crashing.  Work tomorrow than a fun day off :)

PS-I think another good mindset I've noticed myself doing would be NOT saying, I've just got to make it through tomorrow, I know a lot of people say that but its not a positive way of looking at the situation.  I think more importantly I need to think of tomorrow as continuing my good mood from tonight.  Despite whatever today ended up being, it ended good tonight. That means I can start good tomorrow and have a great start to the day.

51/60

So today was my recharge and refuel day. Which comes in time perfectly for my 6am shift tomorrow where it'll go completely out the window. A nap before DEFP rehearsal and I should be good. I've decided today that I'll truly commit to the ideas I was talking about in my past couple posts. I know I said the same thing yesterday but I had the day off today do I didn't really get to put it to the test. And after all I know get the power of positive affirmation. And encouraging myself to do what's right I think falls into that category! Tomorrow surely will be the test and I hope to keep it on the front of my mind so I can remember it and test myself. I'm hoping for an A.

50/60

So today I had somewhat of an opportunity to put into action what I wrote about the past few days. I didnt take it up as much as I could have.  Its just very hard with people who are directly around you at times.  That being said I did get a phone call from a co-worker and I could tell me making this effort and being different from the others made a big difference to this one in particular and thats something that I can say I am very proud of.  I think thats a small reward to show me just how rewarding it can be.  Although I suppose that its the same with your integrity, no one has to know you do it, the self satisfaction should be enough.  And I think that it is.

49/50

So tonight I'm a bit more tired than I would prefer to be to write something substantial... plus I have to work in a short amount of time.  Anyways, today I've been thinking about the golden rule.  Yes its something thats been taught to most everyone as a child... but I think its still relevant.  Treat others the way you would want to be treaded.  Now I don't think I treat people poorly in fact quite the opposite.  But I also think that this could be applied in not quite a physical sense as the wording implies.  I think it could also be applied in the sense of speech and simple interaction with others.  Things like speaking poorly from others, gossiping, etc. are all things that you would not want said about yourself, so why say them about someone else.  I guess that goes well with "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".  While I might not say mean things I know I don't follow these both, as most people don't.  But as I've noticed how negative people are I've noticed how much they don't have anything nice to say nor do they truly treat others well.  Thats something, while I think would be very challenging, would also be very beneficial.  Something that I am wanting to try and have faith that I can make progress with.  In thinking about this whole idea in my drive home from work, I also realized something about where I am in the process from a larger perspective.  When I moved back from Florida almost 3 years ago now, I decided that there was a lot I wanted to figure out about my goals and values for my life.  Something that at the time I recognized I really didn't do but wanted to.  In the past three years I only stuck to my ways even harder, and what can I say, it worked for me.  I really don't see much point in regret.  In everything I've said and realized and thought about in this blog so far I know none has been regret.  Feeling emotion and thinking and processing this information is helpful and should be done, saying you don't regret isn't the same thing and shouldn't be an excuse.  So back on topic, so now I am finally making great steps in where I wanted to be and who I wanted to become that I imagined myself doing three years ago. While its a little late along the way it feels good to be here.  I am excited and curious where this will bring me and how my perspectives will continue to evolve.  I truly feel ready for this and hope it continues to grow.

48/60

Well today was very uneventful.  Nothing to write about on a personal level so I suppose I should find a quote to write something about then!

"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."  -Mary Engelbreit

DONE.  Haha.  Just saying ;)  I think its amazing how true this is.  My post yesterday I think really reflected a positive change I am happy to witness.  So I suppose with my list of goals that I had come up with I at first would say that I don't like where I am at this current point with whatever the topic is (thus a goal to be something more) and I can change my current ways to achieve it, right? Thats how we all seem to achieve our goals.  But as this quote points out, and I have experienced myself, while some of these other goals seem to be more straightforward I think that I could really change the way I think about accomplishing them rather than simply trying to achieve them.  Maybe the whole key to achieving these pals is to think of each task in a different way.  That could be the start i need to get them on their way... like the positive thinking.  This is a good idea to keep in mind and I really am glad I found this quote!

2fer

So even know I already blogged today I must admit it was a pretty weak blog. So in writing this post it is good because I am writing something more substantial but I kind of feel that I am wasting another topic for tomorrow ha ha. but I guess it also makes up for the fact that I didn't blog for a day.
Anyways I wanted to write about something that I noticed had been kind of bugging me but just as I started to write this I am glad that it is bugging me and I am aware of it.
Basically I think people are so negative! I noticed first on Facebook how everyone's status seems to be always complaining and honestly it gets really annoying to read everyday. That being said I have done it to you and I know it is often a good place to vent or just express what you're feeling but it just seems to be so repetitive and primarily negative the entire time.
But at work too I noticed it pretty similar not necessarily with the guests because they are always negative LOL but for some coworkers. Sometimes it seems no I'm not at the situation or what you say or do response is always negative. I know there will always be this challenge in life and I I'm not expecting everyone to be happy all the time but it seems that what's bugging me is the consistency of the attitude and its pervasiveness in any situation.
So all and all I didn't notice I was glad that people's negative attitudes bug me because it is something that I think I have rarely experienced before. I think it says tremendous things about my current perspectives and general attitude too.
So I suppose while I am glad I am aware that negative attitudes are negatively affecting me and are often irrelevant I need to make sure that they in fact do not and I continue in a positive trend it from where I'm at.
I think that just thinking all this out for this post has turned around to my mood for the evening as well. I was kind of getting brought down from work right when I was ending my shift and I can say now I feel much better and already don't feel that negative nests that I was just when I left 10 minutes ago.
It really is a good feeling.

PS I apologize for horrible typos I am using voice to text :-)

Its finally happened

I forgot to post yesterday :(
That being said I got nearly every one of my goals for yesterday accomplished! That has to count for something at least? Maybe? Maybe not... I have similar goals for today and I should be able to get them done... that being said one of them is to go to the store to get food for work and I technically haven't made it out of bed yet today :P
But today is pay day so its a good day and work will go well as well! :)

45/60

Ok. Realistically. Goals for tomorrow;

Update my goals
Pick up room
Fold laundry
Edit remix
Practice bass
Work on DEFP
Read
Plan evening

No particular order and everything I WILL get done!

44/60

I lied :(
Didn't quite put it together I worked till 11 and am back at work till 6.
So what I was thinking today: I actually got two random text messages tonight. Both made my night considerably better. I usually don't text ppl as I think it's kind depressing not getting texted back - but it's awfully nice getting those texts from others. Maybe text someone random at least once a day? Something to think about....

43/60

Well today was an 11 hr work day and I am spent.  Tomorrow I will have a legitimate post to post and actually put some worthwhile effort into a post.  Today my book is calling for me and sleep soon after.  Yay for reading :)

42/60

So I did hope to actually blog today. But this late night closing thing always catches up to me. Today marks my 1/2 way point of the week. Three shifts down and three to go. Too bad my past three were easy compared to my sifts coming up. But nothing has been bad and I don't see any reason upcoming days should be!
I purchased my Charlotte Martin concert ticket and hotel room today for the April first concert I hope to attend! Her music is always so wonderful and I really just feel it - I can't wait for another concert.
Well that's all I can muster out now as I need to be up in the morning for work. Finally getting into the groove of my next book :)

41/60

Today was a great taste of what I can do with my time.  I woke up on my own yet it wasn't late.  I went out to see a movie, eat a nice lunch, and browse a store - all before work.  It felt like a whole separate day besides my work day.  And I really think it made work go by faster.  Im looking forward to doing more things like that in the future.  That being said however, tomorrow I have nothing planned for before work! haha.  So I think a good goal for tomorrow would be to update my goals as I mentioned yesterday.  I surely have the time to do so and not much else going on!  Time seems to be picking up again, which I do like, I just gotta keep up with myself in the process.

40/60

Really did almost forget to blog today. Morning shifts mess with me but I'll be back to working evenings though Tuesday.
Tomorrow I actually have plans before work which I think is good of course as it will get me going and I think a good taste of what I should be doing instead of spending my mornings at home doing practically nothing before a 2:30pm shift.
I think what will work best for me is of I make a list of things for me to do in my mornings. I'm thinking that if I come up with ideas beforehand it will be easier to put them into motion. I guess I can add that to the goals list a well lol. Which just got me thinking - as I have not yet found a way to keep them up in a place for me to see and remember them I should really be re-reading them as well. Kinda keep them up to date and reevaluating them as I go along. Definitely will only be further beneficial!
Now I just gotta make sure I do it! ;)

39/60

I'm not finding many good quotes anymore!  Thats definitely a challenge it seems.  Its amazing another week has basically flown by.  One down in the 4 left of having enough money to find an apartment.
As fast as its seemed that the week has gone by I keep thinking how amazing slow its gotten since I wrote my 30th day post.  The posting seemed to slow up quite a bit after that.  I guess its because it is kinda a lot to write on a daily basis and to have something new to say every day.  I think I've done a good job of not just re-hasing my day but actually writing (at least in a tiny bit) something slightly more substantial.  While I think the positive thinking is coming along nicely, its still a separate process to get me thinking on a deeper level at all, then on a daily basis, and of course to follow it up with putting it in writing.
But its all coming to me and Im proud of what I've been able to do so far.  Im not sure how realistic I even thought this goal was originally to write every day.  I knew I could probably continue it for the 22 day thing but maybe miss a day here or there.  But i haven't! Granted theres plenty of 2am posts but hey, for my day, its still counts.  So just the fact that tomorrow is 40 days of writing and 2/3 of the way there is very reassuring and I think is a good sign that I'll be able to keep going.

38/60

Well tonight went well too! Feels good to be on a roll :)
I plan on keeping up an working towards a little more. Tonight is one of those nights where I get in a little bit of a blog while I can.
Again I'm not too sure what specifically it is that is keeping me going this direction. I suppose I'll put it towards just getting into the groove of my positivity.

37/60

So everyone has those days that are just bad days for absolutely no reason right? Well today was a good day for absolutely no reason! I really can't explain why my mom worked from home which usually instantly puts me in a bad mood and then I had extra training today at work as well - but everything went just fine. I don't know if that training kept me doing something different which was nice other than being bored by myself at the desk but something worked. After training I worked for another two hours and things went smoothly and really pretty well not that they typically aren't. I guess ending with a specifically positive experience makes big difference versus even just ending with a neutral one.
I guess I already knew that – in running a rehearsals and band you always want to and with something you know well so that everyone feels good about the rehearsal. I've done nap long enough I don't know why something as simple as just work wouldn't seem like it should be the same thing.
I can get used to this good feeling.
So I think I will keep it going tomorrow and get some errands done in the morning and then I have the same sort of work schedule in the evening. I am excited for tomorrow to feel good too.

36/60

So I switched over to the "new blogger interface" (I don't like it) and yesterday's mysterious disappearing post magically re-appeared... at least most of it did....

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." -Paul Boese

I was going for a more positive quote - but this has been something on my mind lately as well.  Its hard for me to "forgive" as I always remember and always care.  I typically try to move past as I don't like to spend time on the past.  But that is something that I have been thinking more about through this process.  I typically wouldn't worry about forgiveness as "whats in the past is in the past, you can't change it" etc.  But it seems as though there are still many key factors that the past can determine in my present.  

I suppose forgiving what has happened in the past (regardless of whatever was the outcome - which wouldn't be a problem for me) would probably enlarge what I am capable of mentally/emotionally for the future.  I think it's good to keep in mind that forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean repairing things to the way they were - but instead of coming to terms with what will be will be sort of outcome, I can forgive whatever it was and continue to move past it in a healthier state...  

Again it'll be hard for me as in general thinking about the past isn't quote on my list of favorite things to do.  But as specific thoughts seem to refuse to leave my consciousness, I need to remedy the situation and "enlarge my future" if you will, in the best ways possible.

35/60

Ugh... I came home and knew I shouldn't get on the computer because I'd get distracted.... I didn't get to read last night because of it.  But I convinced myself that blogging on the computer itself vs on my phone would be much much faster.......... except for all that delay time a guess.  Oh well.

So I'm pretty sure I've done this quote for this as well - but as with any quote, id say it has developed other meanings for me now.

"The gneiss for change is awareness" -Ghandi

I have been able to add so much to my perspective since I have started this process.  I think I am more aware as I am making myself be so.  For example, I've been with my new job for a little over a month, and while I had high hopes for what it could bring me, I'm really not sure now.  Bring at least in the sense of income but as well as a potential .....

35(2)/60

F. U. Blogger

I wrote a great post tonight.

Took me at least 20 minutes.

And blogger logged me out and lost it :(

I don't have the energy to rewrite it....

Essentially -

"The genesis for change is awareness" -Ghandi

New meaning for me - I am more aware of what I feel about my job - not as content as I would wish

So that is my awareness that in turn will begin what I need to change

Reevaluate my goals to address the fact that I need a job more fulfilling

Maybe find volunteering on the side in the mean time?

I need to gain experience for sure!

34/60

"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."  -Abraham Lincoln

Agreed.  I have found this to be perfectly true in my own experience.  I would say I also notice this while observing others. And it seems most people don't choose to be.  I am happy that I feel I am becoming this happy person.  While others have said this of me before it isn't exactly something I've seen of myself.  So i guess refocusing my minds eye to this view has done me good.  Continued positive reinforcement of this sees to be the best method as well.

33/60

So it's ending up I'm blogging from my phone alot more lately. Seeing I find it much easier to type out my thoughts on a keyboard this is probably part of why all my entires have been so short lately.
In a way it's a good thing though! I'm definitely not on my computer as much! And that was one of my goals! Which is definitely pretty weird as well.
I wish I could just be able to develop more profound or at least thoughtful thoughts on the spot. I am getting tired of my lack of ideas to post... I suppose thats why I started reflecting on quoted int the first place!
I suppose it only makes sense to go back to that now. It was a fun exercise and I was able to figure a lot of stuff out. I guess the only hard part is to continue to find new and relevant quotes!

32/60

So after another exhausting day (thanks to you mr 4:30am alarm) and working for 9.5 hrs no break I unfortunately do not feel as if a good post is in me.
Things are still going well. Feeling positive. However my circle is still small and I think expanding that will. E a good test of my new mindset as well as beneficial for a social life lol.
Tomorrow is pay day! And I think I'll have enough for the first of 3 paycheck saving chunks to put towards an apartment. One month from tomorrow I'll have the last installment of it and will then begin the highly anticipated, much needed, and long awaited ... Apartment search!

31/60

Well I survived today!

Tomorrow I will get caught up re-reading my previous posts.

While I survived physically, I'm not sure about mentally... second day is always harder... we'll seeeee!

30/60

Well I am halfway there!
While I really do want to do a meaningful post about how I feel getting halfway through this already, I also just got off of work and get to wake up for work again in five hours. Then tomorrow till after work I get to have my DEF Project class. So I will be exhausted.

All that aside I am very happy with this so far. Originally I had the notion that it took 22 days to form a habit and was planning on doing this for that long and wasn't sure if I could make it ha ha. It feels very good that while I am just half way of my new goal I at least have done more than I thought I could consistently.
Well work is still figuring itself all out I can definitely say that in general I feel much better. I know a healthier diet and exercising here and that's in future are also going to help tremendously to.

I think they halfway point to call of this project would be to go back and reread all of my posts so far. I honestly just came up with the idea and think it is great. As I typically never reflect upon my past in great detail, I think for this exercise it will continue to reinforce my positive thinking behaviors.
While I have a lots of goals still on my plate I am happy with the progress of this one.
I am mostly intrigued into seeing how new relationships with people will come about whether this new mindset.

I also just realized by the end of this project I should be right on target for my projected it moving date. The finishing of this seems to be hey good to door to close when a new one is opening (ha ha pun intended LOL). Wow I think this is a great start to the year I need to as I have mentioned before keep up with this jumpstart and continue to grow instead of plateauing.

And this was a pretty productive post! All with voice to text and I am just about to get home. While I know I will be tired tomorrow I am feeling good and looking forward to a new day.

29/60

Ah so.  Of course I haven't done half of what I've set out to do.
Tomorrow I will do:
Something outside
Pick up my room
Eat real food
Prepare for my back to back shifts

Small goals.  But accomplishable ones without being too regular.
I want to get off the computer here soon so I can read.  :)

28/60

Well look who almost forgot to blog today. I read an entire book today - granted its a kids book and only 250 pages. Still as I've me mentioned before I'm glad to be reading. I feel better staying up late reading than on the computer really doing absolutely nothing.
That aside today was a little waste of a day off. Tomorrow will be more productive and beneficial. Like I've also said before I need to keep growing instead of getting to a new spot and staying there.
Overall I still have a lot o address - but I am also greatly proud to see what I've accomplished so far. ..and am looking forward to more.

27/60

Today I am confident and ready for work. This has been a strange week for sure though, I never would have thought that work would be an issue that I needed to address.
I do have the next two days off and really do want to make them productive. I think I can do this most five figuring out the best way to reinforce my goals.
I am very happy I have been reading as much as I have lately and feel good that it will continue. I am almost done with book 3 of this current series and then have three more after that! It's an easy read but it is still me accomplishing my goal.
Let's keep a positive attitude rolling and I am ready for today!

26/60

Today was much better than yesterday. I definitely felt more in control. I hope tomorrow again will be better. I know consistency is important and am trying very hard. I suppose while I've made a lot of good changes in my life I need to watch out for those curve balls that occasionally come my way.
Keeping in mind that everything is temporary helps a good deal too. Tomorrow I work in the evening again, it will be my goal to blog before work and keep in mind some good points for the upcoming shift.

25/60

Where to begin. Again this post is brought to you by my iPhone. Trying to get in a last minute update.
Today was a test. That's for sure. Work was a surprise to say the least. Halfway through the shift I found it hard to put a positive spin on things - but managed to do so with a little help from a friend and a tiny extraction from a horoscope. However my shift didn't end so well, my positive spin I started came to a half and turned the other way faster than you could imagine. I think I'm finally slowing it down yet have no clue how to turn it.
I've recognized my positive mindset ideas so far have been more general mood. I need to figure out which ways I can utilize to turn a situation around instead.
It's all quite a big mess inside my head at the moment. It's amazing how one break seems to bring everything else I've worked on down. But alas -(I suppose there's some good in my old ways of thinking)- it is what it is. It's something I'm working on and being upset wont change it. I can change it and that won't take place at home nor in my dreams (seriously I need to stop dreaming about work).

Heres the serenity prayer:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

I know what I can change and the differences. And I have to courage to do so. Now tomorrow I will use the courage to make it a reality. And I should keep this in mind the whole time. (that's some of the positive thinking strategies right there - positive affirmation - see I'm learning)

24/60

My oh my my posts have been rather short lately.  Today was again the kind of day I noticed my smiling.  Just cuz.  I know its for work and its plastered on there but I have to try and un-smile which also feels good.  My next goal is to make more reasons for me TO smile... the smile behind the smile I suppose.  These reasons would be as addressed by my goals.  As a start - I read for an hour last night, and a half hour today.  Its a little late now but of course I'm still a bit wound from work so I'm going to start a bit now as well.  Reading~~

23/60

SO my room is clean. And I have written a few goals.... They are still a work in progress as I have never written goals before!

GOALS:

Apartment

March

April latest

Work Out

April

May later

Job

Jan 2013

July (2012 at least be applying)

Positive Mindset

IN PROGRESS

Read/Spend less time online!

Semi-In Progress 

Friends

 Always trying...

Relationship?

...I don't even know

Still very much an outline.  More than I have ever put down in writing in my life.  This will help - I know.  

I will keep the positive mindset through it all and it will just make it all that much better!  Its working already and I have great hopes for this project still.

22/60

Ouch.  I actually failed today.  I 100% commit to tomorrow's day off being productive and great.  I will have goals, a clean room, and a full blog entry at the end of the day.

21/60

So today I almost totally forgot to write anything!  I ended up staying up till after 3am last night cuz my mind wouldn't turn off.  I did have more goals to be productive today, but I spent the whole day (once I finally woke up) with good company, and wasn't at home to do anything.  Tomorrow I work 10-6 so I can have a little time after work still to make things be a bit more productive.

I talked to a very close friend yesterday about my process and I definitely felt better about it.  While I'm writing on here I know I'm really writing to myself which is great for me, but its good to talk to others about it as well.  I think I'm going to talk some more to another close friend of mine who I actually do see very regularly and see if I've made a noticeable change yet.  I know I still and just starting and have a long way to go -- but I'd like to think I'm on the right track (and support always helps!).

20/60

1/3 of the way there! Tonight it is much to late to blog much.  I did have some good conversations with friends today.  One showed me that I do have a good new friend who is there for me.  Two was a very good friend that is still there for me.  Three was a small conversation but was a long time coming, that went pretty good (albeit half the party was more than slightly intoxicated - not me haha). And the fourth was a good talk with an old roomie.  The last was great because I noticed I have no late night friends to talk to, and in reading her Facebook status update said practically the same thing.  So a great benefit to both parties.

Im still not feeling quite as positive as I have been trying.  I believe it was all tied into the anxiety of, and seeing a friend that I hadn't in a while. But it needed to happen, and I stepped outside of my typical comfort zone and made it happen and did the "positive thinking" type act that really did benefit myself.

So GOALS.  Is my next goal ;)
The next few days I will be able to get together with my steady friend at the moment.  It'll be great to get out of the house and be active (potential goal right there!)

19/60

Again I must insist that it is not the next day until you sleep and wake up. So while I'm technically writing this at 1:30am on Saturday it is still Friday to me as I have not gone to sleep yet. Now don't ask me what if you just stay up all night because I don't have an answer 😄

Tonight will be a little shorter entry as well. I am blogging from my iPhone do its not quite as convenient to type everything out. And of course the only reason I'm NOT on my computer is that it died and I was too lazy to plug it in haha. But again it's probably for the best as it would just keep me up longer.

So today I was thinking about smiling. I noticed lately that my smile has been stuck on more, which I feel is sims directly related to my work and customer interaction. It was the same way at Disney World and I really never even thought about it. But I do know the idea that smiling simply makes you feel better. So keeping that in mind it's actually making me smile more knowing that my face kinda hurts from smiling. Subliminally or not just keeping that more positive mindset helps my personal mindset.

What I want to do is write down goals. In two days I have my next day off. I would ideally like to write them then but it's already getting to be a busy day. That being said it IS a priority and it's been 19 days so far of me intending to do it. Soon soon.

18/60

Well.  No quote today.  Maybe that should be a more every other day type thing as they seem to become harder and harder to find.  In trying to 'search deeper' in my day to write something more profound than just a play by play I think today went ok.  I guess in starting to think about what to write I thought, 'we'll, today seemed like it might be slipping back to the way things were'.  But then I asked myself, what made me think that?  At first my reasoning was simply that it was a bit of alone time at work and felt rather "blah" ... but thats not much of a reason now is it?  Then I thought, well maybe it wasn't slipping back to the way things were but it definitely wasn't a positive feeling.  And once I started writing really - I made myself think now why wasn't it?  It was in my thinking back about my day that I decided it wasn't so great.  And if I hadn't tried to identify what it was that made it that way, I wouldn't have realized that it really was nothing that caused that, just myself in retrospect.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't need to have a distinctly positive day in order to have a good day... and I need to watch out for myself to realize when things are actually good.

This has definitely been a beneficial post that I didn't need a quote for! Look at that!

izaneybraney's photostream

izaneybraney's photostream on Flickr.

Things that make me happy :)

17/60

"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself." - William Faulkner

I like the last part of this quote a great deal.  I think how I want to apply this quote to my life would be that you should not try and be better than others, simply better than yourself.  It goes right in with self satisfaction and self pride/worth.  I think silt motivation is very important and something that along with a positive attitude, can have a great influence on my life.  And I think what I've done so far with this project and a more positive mindset is already becoming a nice beginning for 2012.  

All that being said - I'm running out of quotes.  At least ones that I like. ...and that are "positive" in their subject.  Pretty soon I'm going to have to expand and figure out what else to write about (not just my day because well... thats boring).  But I think goals would be a great next step on this journey.  Like I've said I'm proud I've come this far and while the past few sick days have fallen short -- I still managed to commit and work on forming this positive routine. All because I'm trying to become better than myself :)

Shite

Today I forgot to blog for realsies. I thought about it at one one point but am still feeling sick and it didn't happen. :(
I need to make sure I do tomorrow. Ok? Ok.

15/60

Sick Zane = no bueno.
Unfortunately blogging is not back on for today. Sick sequence must end first. Lame.

14/60

I can't wright about a quote tonight.  I am absolutely exhausted.  And I am getting sick! Not good.  Basically my brain has turned off after working so much! But in keeping with my writing habits I wanted to keep this up. I would have liked to be able to say I would reflect about how things are going thus far... BUT I'm really out of it.  SO with a few disappointing posts in a row - I'll quit todays before I just starts rambling about noting.